Chapter 4

Sitting across from my fiancé, complaining about my writer's block when it comes to this blog and the fact that I haven't written a post in nearly two months, he posed a very kind challenge to me: "Why do you feel like what you're writing has to be big - would it not be enough to just write a life update about all the goodness that you're experiencing?"

At first, I wanted to protest, because YES! in my mind it DOES all need to be big and profound and drive people to tears, but then I realized the deeper meaning within his words, that he didn't even intend: is it not big enough to just write about God being God and working in my life?

Is His story not profound enough to be the best thing I could say?

And so, I sat down, and began to write...

A glimpse of the very beautiful story the Lord is writing:

October 31, I got dumped.

I was hurt, confused, and grappling with what I could have done differently to make things work.

November 27, I finally released the bitterness I was holding on to and submitted myself to the Lord.

November 30, the love of my life messaged me for the first time.

After that breakup, I swore to the Lord I was done pursuing men. If there was one for me, then He had to make it evident by making that man reach out to me first. He had to pursue me and make his intentions SO clear that there would be absolutely no mistaking his pursuit of me for anything other than a God-ordained action.

December 4, Ben Rodman started to do exactly that.

On our first date, Ben tried to give me every reason things between us might not work, in an effort to save us both time and trouble, and respect and guard my heart, having known I just walked through a relationship ending.

They were reasons he thought he was disqualified from a chance with me, and despite those reasons, he looked me in the eyes and said, "If you don't want to walk away after this, then I want to do everything in my power to be the man you deserve. I am going to pursue you, for as long as you'll let me, and it's going to end in marriage, because you are too special for me to let you pass by."

He told me the first thing about me that even caught his eye was my love for the Lord. He said, "I heard you speak about Jesus, and I just wanted to know more about this girl who loves the Lord so greatly. I wanted to know the way your mind worked, and why you thought the way you did, and what you thought about the Lord and life."

I didn't expect to fall for him so fast.

I had my guard up. I couldn't be the girl who fell again; not so fast, not so easily. But when someone does everything in their power to make an effort to not just know you, but understand you, it's just too easy.

I fell for Ben's humor first; he was funnier than I expected. He's witty and sarcastic, he's my absolute favorite person to banter with, and he makes everything in life more. He just gets me.

I fell for his heart second, which was even more captivating than his humor, because how could I not love someone who desires so deeply to love others? Ben serves in every capacity he can. He seeks to make people feel seen, he strategizes how to best make sure people feel like they belong, and he finds the most joy in bringing joy to someone else.

I knew I loved him when I realized for the first time in my life, I wanted to build something new with someone. I saw God's work so evidently in his life that I knew if I followed Ben, I was following the Lord's plan. I began to trust him in a way I didn't know I could trust someone.

And rapidly, I began to realize I didn't want to do life without him. Because when you find the person who compliments you in every way, who not only sees you for who you are, but who you can be, and wants to do everything in their power to make sure you are safe, cared for, and cherished, there is no part of you that wants to be separated from them - ever.

Saying yes to becoming Ben Rodman's wife was the easiest decision ever. A no-brainer with endless peace for every reason the Lord spent the last 5 months making overwhelmingly evident.

It wasn't saying yes to a ring; it wasn't saying yes to simply getting married; it was saying yes to a man who has changed my life and brought me joy I didn't even know I was missing.

It was yes to peace, and contentment, and pursuing the Lord harder because he brings out the very best in me. It was a yes to conversations that make me a better person and a life built on serving others.

It was yes to every way the Lord has aligned our lives and hearts for this very moment, when finally it all makes sense.

All the prayers, all the waiting, all the asking "why" made sense when Ben came into my life.

He's not my salvation, but I will never not be blessed to greater appreciate and understand the magnitude and vastness of God's love for me, because He lets me get a glimpse of it through Ben.

I love the Lord deeper because I have tasted His goodness, seen His faithfulness, and watched His hand orchestrate our story.

I accept the great adventure: of becoming a wife, of being Ben Rodman's best friend, and ultimately, loving the Lord deeper because I see so fully His radical plan for a relationship with Him: a perfect and never-ending marriage between Christ and the Church that our earthly marriages are only a glimpse of.

I've written a lot of love stories as a writer, but this one is so much better than anything I could have come up with. This happy ending is my very favorite.

Here's to accepting the great adventure - plot twists and all.

-Emma

"I accept the great adventure of being me."