It's Not About You

I got saved at the age of 3, and since then have been very fortunate to have a lot of amazing people pour into me. To have parents that give me their undivided attention; friends who support me unquestioningly; people in my life that continually challenge me to grow.

I've spent a very long time focusing inwardly, on my own growth, and how the Lord has been shaping me, but recently that "growth" has started to look different.

Instead of growth being inward, it has become an outward act.

I think that often, when we think about growing, we think about everything the Lord can do to and through US - I know that was my perception.

And when I wasn’t suddenly having aspects of my own life stripped away or challenged, it sent me into a tailspin: Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong? Is there some way I have been disobedient and that’s why the Lord isn’t growing me?

Until my mom said something revolutionary: maybe, this season of growth isn’t about YOU.

I was both shocked and devastated: How could that be?! Growing is ALWAYS about me! I must always be challenging myself in some way to be a better and better version of myself!

But then the Lord and I began to talk – it became this conversation between me and Him on a daily basis:

Lord, I want this for myself, but I won’t move unless you tell me. Lord, I have this platform, but I only want to use it to glorify you. Lord, I want to seek you in all things and be made more like you, so just tell me, how do I become more like you? How do I pursue your son and the sacrifice he made for us, if you aren’t even telling me what I should be working on for myself?

I was so used to looking at my life through only one lens that it took me a moment to see: the greatest way we can emulate the Lord, is by laying ourselves down.

It’s getting out of the way and recognizing, it’s not about YOU, or what you can DO – it’s not about being the person that causes the revolution or says the great thing – it’s not about seeing instantaneous growth from our endeavours - sometimes it’s just about planting seeds.

Sometimes, it’s about passing the mic to the next generation.

Sometimes, it’s about being the one who listens – not just the one who talks.

For all the wrestling and questioning that I did, wondering how I can be made more like Christ, the Lord was already answering me in my circumstances.

He wasn’t dependent on me to make things happen this summer, but He let me be a piece of it because despite not needing me to do great things, He wants me to be a part of His plan.

And in the place of what would normally be “my growth”, He allowed me to witness transformation in the lives of those around me, while a deeper seed and desire for humility took residence inside me.

Rather than being the one to have the transformation, I got to watch the Lord transform others, and BECAUSE I was obedient to listen when He told me to step aside, I was in turn transformed and given a new heart - which is just growth that looks a little unconventional!

Now, I relish in being the one to serve. I desire to be the friend who listens; the sibling who supports. I want to be the one to lay down so that others may prosper – and to be frank, that’s a very new attitude for me.

This summer I got to:

• Serve our ASCEND student leaders at work

• Support JT as he prepares for his transition into college

• Learn to submit in my relationship

• Be quick to pivot in my plans when the Lord calls me to it, even if it goes against MY plans

• Elevate student leaders so that THEY can take charge and grow

• Stand in the background to watch the Lord work in the life of 500 football players

• Accept that planting seeds may be the most impactful thing I can do for the students I meet

And not a single one of those things had to do with asking “how is this going to benefit me” – because at the end of the day, it’s not about me.

The Lord has still been growing my dreams into realities in the background – and I’ll share more on that as this year progresses – because He is still a personal God who intentionally plans and cares for us. But this summer, my biggest heart and takeaway is that we grow when we water others.

There have been seasons of my life where I’ve needed to be poured into, and there will be seasons like that again, but stepping into this school year and away from summer I can proudly tell you that when we get out of our own way, the Lord works in the most marvelous way. And the peace that comes from that quick obedience and earnest listening can’t be beat.

Here’s to getting out of the way…

-Emma