Stretching Further

College is incredibly hard for me. But not for the reason you might think:

See, it's not the academic rigour, or the course loads, or the social engagement that proves to be a challenge for me - it's the ever changing schedule every single semester.

As a person that thrives on routine and order, receiving a new schedule every six months truly does a number on me. I spend the first three months complaining about the fact that my schedule is different, and the next three months trying to figure out how to survive it, and by the time I finally get used to what I'm doing it changes AGAIN.

And in these moments, I find myself trying to go back to what I once knew: in a semester where I am entirely online, I'd like to think that I can just revert back to the schedule I maintained my senior year of high school when I was entirely online.

But the thing I failed to realise, is that I'm not senior year Emma anymore. I never will be; not again.

I am this Emma. 2024 Emma. Comprised of three more years of life and experiences and growth, and I cannot fit into a mold that I no longer belong to. I don't want to.

Rather, I have to adapt to who I am now.

Someone who is still growing and learning every day. Someone who is trying to reach their fullest potential for the life they lead in the present.

Complacency is comfortable. So is thinking we are done growing or have conquered a struggle.

I often like to believe that when I've walked through something once that is sufficient: I learned to manage my time wisely once when I was eighteen and in high school? Great! Lesson learned!

I am the Master of Time Management! I will never again struggle with this!

... WRONG!

Because our circumstances are ever changing, and we are ever evolving in that pursuit of sanctification that we are called to, we are continually faced again and again with ways to grow.

And we always will be. And despite the discomfort our flesh might face in these moments of growth, I think that means we face them more boldly!

We push harder, and learn more, and glean new information again and again as we see the Lord reveal a new attribute of His character in the midst of a struggle, and rather than running away from facing a fear or addressing a perpetual struggle of our flesh, we see that each day we are growing stronger, as the Lord works to make us new again and again.

Rather than being frustrated when we face the same struggle or area of growth that we've faced before, we can see it as an opportunity to learn anew.

For our present selves to gain even more than we did the first time around.

Instead of being discouraged by my struggles with time management, I can learn how to sustainably schedule my days (thank you Marisa Chester).

Instead of being discouraged that I struggled to trust the Lord to be faithful, I can embrace the surrender all over again.

Instead of being discouraged when something doesn't go the way I planned it, I can rejoice that what took place is the Lord's plan, and it will be far better than anything I could come up with.

If kairos is a moment in time ordained by the Lord for Him to work, then maybe this is your kairos moment.

Maybe you've been called to this exact moment of growth for this point in time.

Whether you think you've conquered it once already, or whether you are facing a struggle you've never encountered before, I pray that you see that the Lord is never done with us. And praise God that He is not; that every single day we get to wake up and grow closer to Him. Surrender more. Stretch further. Grow in confidence, and boldness, and strength.

Here's to stretching further...

-Emma