Surrendered

This is a post that has been almost a year in the making: I AM OFFICIALLY A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!!

As many of you know, I am a writer: that's why I have this blog, write novels, and post horribly long Instagram captions. What many people don't know, is that I also write poetry, and that's because it was never something I thought I would be known for. In fact, it wasn't something I ever planned on sharing because I didn't feel like my poetry was "poetic enough" - I had no technical structure or rhyme schemes, merely lines written down that for so long plagued my mind.

Poetry became an escape: when I became overwhelmed with emotions, whether it was sadness, joy, or love, it always seemed to come out in the form of poems. And while often set to the tune of a song in my head, I never understood where the words came from - I just knew that writing them down felt good. Not just good, it felt right. A cathartic escape from the feelings inside.

And as I spiritually matured, I began to realise that these ideas often came from the Holy Spirit - but I was not a poet. I was a novelist. I was one thing that I defined myself to be, and those ideas would simply have to settle for being mixed between the lines of my Notes app, and incorporated into stories in the future.

But my junior year of high school, something changed. I saw an ad on Instagram for a poetry competition, that could win you a $50 Amazon gift card, and publication in this pages' online magazine, and daringly, I thought why not?

I was passionate about my writing, I had loads of "poems" written down, I wanted to get my foot into the world of publishing, why not submit one and simply see what happens?

And.... nothing happened.

I didn't win.

I entered again.

I didn't win.

I repeated this process a handful of times throughout the year, and eventually decided "this is not for me because it's not happening any time soon. I quit! My poems are better kept private". What I didn't realise was that it had never been about my timing - it had always been about the Lord's.

Fast forward to this time a year ago: I was in a literature class studying poetry, and I saw another ad on Instagram for a 21 Day Poetry Challenge. This one was different than all the one's I had seen before: it was paced, there was no theme, there could be multiple winners, and you would get a full on publishing deal complete with distribution and marketing if you won.

At this point, I had launched the blog, grown as a writer, and thought "the time is now".

So faithfully, I submitted poem after poem for 21 days, going with the theme of love and heartbreak through ones' life (because those are the types of poems that dramatic high schoolers write).

It didn't matter that over the last several months I had begun to write poems that were unlike anything I had written before: praises and stories of the Lord. I was a romance novelist, and romance poet, and that was the story I was prepared to tell.

When the 21 days came to an end, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that no amount of encouragement from the people in my life could change: I wasn't going to win. Did I know that? No. But I felt that the odds were against me: something about this wasn't right.

When my rejection came after judging closed, I wasn't surprised. But I was a little angry. "Why can't I get a publishing deal God?" "I know I'm good enough to be out there!" "I know my words could be used to help someone heal from heartbreak" "When will it be my turn?"

All questions I asked the Lord, but already, He had laid the word on my heart that has become so very real this year: surrender.

It's not about you and what story is going to glorify you - it's about the story that is going to point people to Me.

A few months later I got an email from the company: "we are offering discounted publishing to anyone interested in paying for it, in the event that your work wasn't selected as a winner."

A second chance.

"Can I completely change my manuscript?"

I knew what I needed to do.

"Yes you can."

Thus began the project that would become Surrendered.

Surrendered is still a collection of 21 love poems, but not in the way that I first envisioned it.

See, the thing I've come to learn as both a romantic and a writer, is that no love story is complete if you haven't centered is around THE love story: the one where God loves us so much, that from the very beginning of time when man first fell short, He was concocting a scheme to bring His Bride back home. One filled with passion, and strength, and enduring love that caused innocent blood to be shed in the most beautiful act of selfless love the world has ever known, just so that we have the opportunity to know that kind of love for ourselves. To feel a touch of Heaven here on this Earth.

There is no love story without the story of LOVE, just as I am no author without THE AUTHOR holding my pen.

And that was the story that the Lord wanted me to tell: one in which we give our hearts to Him first, because everything else is meaningless without Him. Then, open ourselves up to His plan for life and design to live freely - a purpose filled life of joy and adventure. And finally, obtaining the love of this Earth that is meant to mirror He Who Loved First.

I am still a romantic. And I am still a "romance author". But I do not want to tell, experience, or have a love story that does not point back to the greatest love I will ever know. How can I when He has shown me such beautiful romance? That pursues me perfectly, that whispers sonnets to my heart, that protects me fiercely, and breeds nothing but the purest form of joy? He is strong, and passionate, and filled with more depth than I will ever be able to comprehend - and that is why we can surrender so freely.

That is what makes the surrender so beautiful: the love that awaits us on the other side.

Today, I share with you a touch of the passion I have seen that guides my purpose, and I pray that for every single one of you that reads my words that you find nothing but the deepest joy that comes from the Creator of Goodness.

And, if you, like me, doubt your ability to reach a goal, and keep asking the Lord "when will it be my turn?", have faith and know that your time is coming, and when it does, it will be far more perfect than anything else you could have ever written.

Happy Reading,

Emma

To purchase my book you can go to: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/surrendered-emma-chester/1142141423?ean=9798831466195

"Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."