System Updating

Do you like change? If your answer is no, then I would like to point out that you are not alone: a study showed that when asking people to embrace a change in their life, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually, 80% of those people would rather do nothing at all than address the changes in their life that need to be made. This isn't wrong, this is human nature. We are walking contradictions, constantly desiring things for ourselves that are newer and better, but fearing what happens when we actually make that change because we also desire comfort and security.

Maybe you're feeling that way today, as you enter this new school year, or maybe like me, you're ready for that change. Ready to grow into something better than you were the day before.

However, facing your fear of change is not exactly what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about people changing. Continuing with the theme of relationships that I seem to have going this week, I was asking myself yesterday why it is that some relationships don't work, when they once did. This is not even strictly romantic; friendships, family connections, and working relationships are all relationships that exist in our lives!

Often, when these relationships fizzle out or reach a point of conflict, we find ourselves saying that "they just changed", "they aren't the person I originally fell in love with", and "I just feel like I don't know them anymore". Allow me to respond to these statements: DUH, WE ALL CHANGE!

I think one of the most beautiful things about the way God designed humans, is our CONSTANT ABILITY TO CHANGE. Always, we can choose to repent, start over, and turn our lives around. It is never too late for that (2 Corinthians 5:17)! So where does that leave our relationships?

I settled upon this: we must constantly seek to fall in love with the newest versions of people.

The reason that some connections seem to have more longevity than others, is because they didn't stop after falling in love once, instead, they let themselves be introduced to someone again and again as they grow through life, and they pursue love through every one of those stages.

The reason my relationship with my family is so strong, is because not only have they stood by my side while I walked through every new season of life, but they have rooted for that version of me again and again.

I joked with a friend yesterday about all the "phases" we often go through as we find out who we really are, but there is so much truth to that! Right now, if I asked you to name a phase you went through, you could probably do it!

At the start of each school year, I would often pick an influence for my style for the year. Some years it was "preppy English teacher", once it was "edgy Dystopian novel", but each year I was growing as a person! Whether I was "hiker Emma", "flight attendant Emma", or "biker gang Emma" I was embraced by those that love me and want to pursue a relationship with me, and I am so incredibly thankful for that.

And here's the beautiful thing about those changes that seem oh so scary in the moment: God knew you were going to make them. And not only that, but He is walking right along side you as you embrace them (Deuteronomy 31:6).

See, the difficult thing about avoiding change, is that it's inevitable. Whether it's a part of your plan or not, God intends for us to change. He doesn't want us to stay the same infantile Christians we are when we first come to know Him. He doesn't want us to stay living in the loneliness of sin that we felt before we knew Him. He doesn't want our lives to just be good, when they could be great! Because the amazing thing about God is that he designed you to be every version of yourself, for precisely the right amount of time, so that you could be who you are now (Ecclesiastes 3:1)! And you are going to keep growing, and He is going to keep loving you every step of the way.

The person I was when I started high school was different than the person I am starting college. The young woman I am now, single and working, will be different than the person I am as a wife and mother. And the right people are going to love all of those versions, no matter how many updates I go through, in the same way that God does. And I think that's beautiful. To achieve true human connection, is to fall in love with someone's core. The things in them that are constant and lovely that God designed, that may never change, whether we realise it or not. But it is also choosing to fall in love every day with the newest version of those around us, and with ourselves, and having the patience to pursue knowing that person.

You are a person worth pursuing, always, no matter the phase, and you shouldn't be afraid of embracing that change.

Happy fearless first day of school!

-Emma

"Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."