The Power of Partners

Anyone who has known me for a long time, knows that I've not always been the way that I am today.

I didn't always used to be the girl that baked something new each week, or longed for relationship and desired to care for others, I wasn't ever the girl who wanted to be seen as tender - I wanted to be fierce. I was on a fast track to what I considered independence and strength, and I wasn't letting any pre-conceived gender stereotypes stop me. I was going to wear my leather jackets, and be angry, and reject anything that might have been considered "soft", because I didn't want to be the follower.

I wanted to be the leader.

With time and softening from the Lord, I began to realise, it was not an "either/or" kind of life that I had to lead - I could be both: strong and meek, tender and fierce, gentle and powerful.

The Lord taught me, that it was actually my position and power as a woman that made me strong, and that this was something I could embrace rather than fear would make me "weak".

It was this spirit of ferocious tenderness that gave me the influence I have.

I could be the girl that worked hard on the weekdays and baked on the weekends.

I could be the girl that could follow and lead, depending on the situation.

I could one day be the mother that homesteads and stands firm for her family, and still get to have a career I love.

I could be all of the things, through each season of life, without ever having to choose one or the other, and it actually be the image of a woman that God intends.

And in embracing this, have a greater influence on others than I ever would have if I tried to isolate myself to one thing, or fit into a box I was never supposed to fit into.

Lately, I've been re-reading Judges, and thanks to my mom (a woman who is a wonderful role model of all things gentle, loving, and strong), I began to notice that what most people see at first glance of these stories, is that men are often the judges or leaders with drastic consequences - either for the good or the bad. But upon closer look, I noticed, it was often the women in their lives who had the power to set them up for success or failure, who could either be the help-meet God describes in Genesis, or they could be the reason these men fell.

It was...

Micah's mother who put him on a pedestal that led to him leading a whole community in pagan worship.

The nagging and lies of women he loved, that led to Samson disobeying the Lord.

Gideon's concubine that birthed Abimelech who would become a wicked king.

But it was also...

Deborah who served as judge over Israel.

Jael who killed the wicked king.

Jephthah, who was obedient to the Lord in following through on the sacrifice her father promised, no questions asked.

It is women, these counter parts of men, who were gentle, and strong, and fierce in the face of the Devil's attack. It was, and is, women who can make or break a man.

But more importantly, it is our partners, in all walks of life, that we surround ourselves with, that can determine our future.

It is the people we allow to speak over our lives, to flood our souls, to influence our choices, that dictate whether or not the path for us will be clear.

Men and women in equal parts are created in the Lord's design for a specific purpose, and each and every one of us has the ability to be tender, and strong, and gentle, and kind, and patient, because each and every one of us is made in the image of Christ.

I can gladly embrace what I once considered "too soft" because I have had the wonderful example of a mother who embraces that role wholeheartedly and sees the joy that comes in serving. The woman who has sat with me in the softening of my heart that the Lord has done, and led in a way that makes me feel stronger for having known her than I ever would feel on my own - much like a dozen other woman have done in my life.

Because who we surround ourselves with matters.

Friends, partners, parents - each and every role we play in someone's life can build them up to honor the Lord or lead them closer to destruction.

This softening is an on-going process. It always will be, because we will always wrestle with our flesh.

But having the right people around you? That can help you wrestle well.

Those are the people that sit with you in the struggle, and when it gets too hard to walk alone, walk in it with you.

I've been on the receiving end of this kind of love, and the closest thing I can compare it to is the love of Christ - who is always in the softening with us. The one who tempers us in our flesh and desires and forms them to something that glorifies Him.

The God who redeems our struggles, our "weaknesses", and makes them strengths. That sees benefits to every spot we see as a flaw. Who was gentle and tender with us long before we knew it, and still is when we don't deserve it. The God who places these people in our lives, and equips us to love people this way.

Who are your people? How can you build them up today?

Here's to softening...

- Emma

"Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."